we're blogging at a bar
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
