i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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