I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
