I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I deserve this hangover.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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