Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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