I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize