Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
