Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.