you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dating After Heartbreak
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was