Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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