you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
