I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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