Ambien. No doubt about it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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