dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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