Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
