i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Damn victory sex feels great
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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