I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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