I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he thought i was a dude.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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