is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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