worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
