You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
