Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?