Yo dont text me then not text me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito