u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.