I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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