WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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