we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
