i jhust puked up my retainher.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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