Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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