I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
