do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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