did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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