dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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