I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
