Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
