I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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