he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
