when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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