So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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