What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
