Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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