Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
