i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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