can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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