i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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