You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
