The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.