I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell