i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.