I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
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It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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