I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize