are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
