i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
