Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
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I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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