You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
