Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
