God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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