Already got asked if we're dating
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
