she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
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He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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